Booger Caper

      I am in the middle of a serious Scooby Doo moment. In an earlier post "This Is How We Do It." I mention that someone had WIPED BOOGERS on the top of the door frame. That was HILARIOUS. What is not funny is unpacking our belongings to discover the booger machine didn't do just door frames. I have been sitting on the floor unpacking boxes and look at the underside of my highboy dresser..... boogs. Our couch was flipped up to reveal the bottom of the couch...boogs. Not just a smear here and there, I'm talking small solar system sized boogs.

     I went all CSI on this. Mostly because I have been racking my brain thinking of friends and family that had been in my house in England long enough to work up a jelly jar of boogers. I've come up with three very likely scenarios.

     Scenario #1: I made some sort of joke that one of our friends didn't really appreciate. They in turn, would purposefully come to our house with a nose full of slimers or a tupperware filled with used tissues, so that systematically, they could plant them throughout our house. I bet this person made charts, and had a planner. Kept a journal of the whereabouts of every piece of nasal putty. If this is the case, well played you post nasal drip freak.

      Scenario #2:  The boogers seem to have appeared recently. Now that we can connect more than one crime scene, it would seem more likely that the culprit felt they did not have the necessary tools to dispose of the evidence properly. My guess is, it was our movers. What I think is that one or both of them has a serious cocaine addiction. This would not be guessed by the speed with which they packed our house, but when you have lots of snot to wipe you work more slowly. It seems to me that our movers systematically moved thru our house placing the little gems wherever they deemed it necessary. Maybe that's how they label things for a move. Some people use stamps our movers use boogers. This brings me to my next dilemma. We get to turn in a report of the damaged items in our shipment, and about how the movers themselves did. If we were to actually report that our movers WIPED BOOGERS on our belongings what would the expected response be? If I were reading the complaint I would pee myself laughing. It's not so funny when you have to find a booger scraping device. I have made the mistake twice now of wondering what on earth was on said item and touching it.

      Scenario #3:  Chad needs booger counseling.


I will post something else in a bit. I've had headaches from T-Money for the past few days.