When I was 18 I totally went to a Voodoo doctor...
Well she may not have been a voodoo doctor, but she was a hack.
I can't believe I didn't think to tell you guys about this sooner.
As I have mentioned before I have long struggled with the ups and downs of depression. As a parent, my mom didn't want to place me on antidepressants while I was still "forming." So, instead I went to therapy for a little while and found the COOLEST therapist ever...like one of those once in a lifetime people that I had like 1 session with this lady, and still wonder about her to this day. My mom also believed that a lot of the symptoms of my depression were possibly related to allergies. (I slept a lot like every 18 year old) My depression just wasn't responding to things like allergy pills.
One day she came to me with information she had found on a local morning news program about this "doctor" (I can't even capitalize it here) that does non-traditional allergy treatments. Her name, I shit you not....Dr. Tenpenny. Ugh. This lady's office was also about an hour and a half from where we lived, and in order for the treatments to work you had to go once a week.
Let me walk you thru a "test" and a "treatment."
The "test" consists of them pulling out this wooden block filled with tiny little glass vials that have all kinds of different substances in them. You name it they had it in a vial...If they didn't have something you thought you might be allergic to they told you to bring it in and they would "scientifically" place it in a vial for use. You would lay down flat on your back on a flat table, and they would place a glass vial in your right hand. Then, you were instructed to raise your left hand with your fingers together pointing at the ceiling. The "doctor" would then take her hand and push against your raised arm. If you were able to resist her pushing you didn't have an allergy. If your arm went down easily, you had an allergy. Which brings us to phase two.
"Treatment" consisted of placing that vial in your hand and using surgical tape to tape your hand shut while you sit there quitely for 20 minutes in the dark and then she comes in with a little clicker type thing that feels like a bic pen and clicks it up and down your spine. Then she unwraps your hand and you are suppose to avoid said allergen for 48 hours. Then, you are CURED!
Holy shit balls this was crazy!
I did this for 6 months.
What on Earth made me go for so long? I think part of me liked the weirdness of it. How many people can say they had these allergy treatments? It was totally upscale voodoo. I can't believe that woman charged people money for that crap. Let alone where the hell did she do her medical training? A recycling center? That's where she got all the little glass vials? Exactly how high does one have to get to come up with this idea? Where in the world is this considered a legit treatment? What part of the world did this crop up? I can't even come up with a place because I don't want to insult any group of people this way.
I still suffer from both allergies and depression.
Dr. Tenpenny hired another "doctor" into her practice.
I assume she met him while he was digging thru a dumpster at Chili's.
He was super creepy.
When he took a turn doing the clicker on me and started telling me about his new Jag and recent divorce we stopped going.
It took creepy old man seduction to convince me that this was not worth our time.
Allergies and depression have nothing to do with one another.
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