Starting to Try

This is an informative post.

It took 2 years to create Charlie.

It was hell.

You're all like, "Yea 2 years of doin' it seems sooooooo tough."

It is ya jerks.

There is an eight year age gap between my sister and myself. We grew up in different decades. Might not seem like much, but it was. It was hard to find common ground, when I am wearing a belly top and listening to Britney Spears, and she's all "Ohhhh I have to go to work and be an amazing pharmacist with all my smarts and math skillz." I was all like, "Does my hair look better with highlights in beige or honey?" She was all, "Based on your body weight you can't take that much blah blah blah I SAVE PEOPLE." You see where I am going with this. While my relationship with my sister is beyond amazing now, growing up was two separate worlds. She was in college when I was in middle school. The closest I got to my sister during those years, was sneaking off to her room to look through her things while she was probably doing organic chemistry homework. I want my children to be close in age. To be able to kick the crap out of bullies together, to torment the same teachers with not so much as a 2 year break before the next one comes to punch them in the face with knowledge.

We needed assistance to conceive Cha Choos. Clomid to be exact. So over the past few weeks there have been some changes....I stopped breast feeding/pumping. It was one of the most painful things ever. All I wanted to do was drain those puppies. Now, that is over. I had to stop so that my "lady times" could resume. Now, they have. I have started back on the Clomid. We are starting to try for our next little one.

I am beyond excited, and a little sad/scared. I don't want to not give Charlie all the attention he deserves. I worry that I will be that lady in the robe at the bus stop with a maxipad stuck to my thigh. I worry I won't have the energy for two toddlers. I fear that if I have 2 we will stop, and the joy to newborns, and babies, and all that goes with the beginning of parenthood will be lost for forever. I don't want to rush, but with my fertility issues, we have to be realistic about our time frame.

Clomid makes me have hot flashes like crazy. It also makes me a little emotional. Suit up everyone. Barracuda Liz is going to make an appearance regularly while on Clomid. The reason I chose to write about this, is because there are a lot of people in the same boat as me. I write to stay sane. I write to tell people that you aren't alone in struggling to create a family. So, here's to doin' it biblical style. Weee!