Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Reason Why Saved By the Bell Kicks the Shit Out of Normal News Programs

Saved By the Bell kicks the shit out normal news shows.

Why?

SBTB never changes. The show revolves around a young gang of kids that all get into little "uh-ohs," and with the exception of some to be continued shows, it ends. I have seen every episode, but at least it's not surrounding murder or dresses. (With the exception of Lisa starting her own fashion line)

News shows lately have been focused on two things. Casey Anthony, and Princess Kate's outfits. This is what news is about lately? Giving that complete waste of life more media coverage than the disaster in Japan. Talking about Kate's 40 dress changes in her time in the US. I am so over it. We all bitch and moan about not caring anymore about these things, yet morning after morning we tune in. There are still troops deployed in two wars, that are risking their lives on a daily basis, and our media covers.....what Kate wore to the BAFTA's. There are puppies out there that have saved babies, and the media covers Casey Anthony's hair style at her sentencing. Please allow me to be the first to say, "WHO THE F*&^ CARES?"

Saved By the Bell may be all reruns from the 90's, but it is over and done with at the end of a half an hour. The coverage of either of the previous topics seems to go ON and ON. Saved By the Bell isn't current. I get that, but neither is Casey Anthony or Kate. That isn't news. That's shit on a shingle. Local news isn't as bad, but it also has local people spewing it that may or may not have graduated from High School.

So, I am boycotting. I am not watching morning news programs. Sure, I may not know that the Pope has a Twitter account anymore, but I think it's a fair trade off. I won't hear brain sludge. I will instead watch Zach getting into one of his many debacles, and getting off scott free at the end. Sort of like Casey Anthony, but without injustice. I fail to understand why that was covered so widely in the first place. Perhaps everyone likes to hear what lego hair Nacy Grace has to say. I for one, would rather listen to Celine Dion sing for hours than listen to Nacy Grace. Which as you all know, Celion Dion sucks.

On SBTB Jessie takes "pep pills" to study, and burn the candle at the other end for a music video she is in. She ends up having a mental breakdown in her room, throwing her pills all over her comforter. This teaches me that she is "so excited, and so scared." I get it now Jessie. Don't take pep pills, and don't be in a tragic 90's music video. Did the news teach me that? No.

I would have to scour the internet to find information on current events that are important. Find out how Japan is coping, what's going on in Libya (I totally spelled that wrong and spellcheck gave me the suggestion of "labia" thanks spellcheck!), or about people that need help elsewhere. On SBTB they find oil under the football field. They are going to be rich! Until the drilling goes horrible wrong and all the local wildlife gets covered in crude oil. I can't remember how that episode ends, but I think they decide to stop drilling and clean off all the ducks with some Dawn soap...Speaking of oil slicks, what's happening down off the Gulf? You don't know either? That's because Kate wore an Alexander McQueen dress to the BAFTA's. Clearly, that is more important.

I would go with the theory of, "they are trying to keep the news light." Then, they cover things like the tot mom. WTF? As a nation, we care so little about international current events. It's tragic. Kelly gets a chance to go model in Paris. She would have learned about culture, and seen the world. Zach was selfish and didn't want her to go. So, in the end she didn't. See? SBTB is the SAME. Except it is over in a half hour and I am not left thinking about how to make a beet smoothie. (It was totally on GMA a day or two ago.)

So there you have it.

Watch Saved By the Bell. It's more informative than news.

5 comments:

  1. I don't remember the last time I watched the news dude. I think it was when Osama was killed, but before that, I couldn't even tell you. Nothing new ever happens and you hit the nail on the head with this one. I believe I shall this with others. :)

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  2. kelly's paris episode is on right now. do you know where i can find a girls of bayside calendar?

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  3. Hahahaha! I am watching, and I must be a SBTB psychic!

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  4. I echo Ally about the news--never watch it. I feel as though my life is 40% better because of it.

    Also, I didn't even KNOW Casey Anthony was being tried until the hubby told me over the phone that she had been found not guilty.

    However, my SBTB knowledge is similarly lacking. Haven't watched it since like 1994.

    For the record, I listen to the BBC World Service a couple times a week and watch Teen Mom.

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  5. FYI...I hope this doesn't open me up to judgement but I own every episode on DVD of SBTB and my favorite episode is Jessie breaking down LOL. And pretty sure according to Screech Kelly was going to Paris, Texas so it wasn't hat big of a loss.

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