Weiner

Penis.

The word makes me cringe.

Never before have I thought so much about penises.

As time ticks by, I know that it's only a matter of time before Charlie discovers his. Then, I will spend the rest of my life telling him to stop touching it. So I am pondering the idea of what to call it. There are so many nicknames and all of them leave me with a weird feeling. Seriously, though how many other things can you think of that have so many other names? Penis is the marijuana of body parts.

Wee-wee, pee-pee, weiner, dong, wang, willy, "it", jr., pee-er, private part, and of course, dick. Not to mention the 900 words used to describe it in a sexual manner. There are two basic thoughts on this matter. Do I call it by the correct name of "penis" and cringe every time, or do I call it something else and just feel like I am dumbing down his body parts? Aren't those names semi-shame based?

If I call it his weiner, it is no better. He's already developing his language skills, and I have been calling it his penis for the most part when we are discussing anything about care, cleaning, or diapering. When he is in ear shot (or not) I use the proper term. I guess I also feel like that is a bit "formal" for everyday use. What will the other boys be calling it when he is in social settings? I don't use baby talk so saying wee-wee makes me want to slap my own mouth.

I am just so torn over it. I don't want him being the "Dad" of the play group by calling it a penis while all other kids call it a weiner, but I also don't want him getting all giggly over it. It is what it is. Maybe I am over thinking this. How much does that come up in play group? From all the men I know, I picture them as children, and I could honestly say it would come up like every other word. I was always uncomfortable in Elementary school when I would see a boy standing in the lunch line with his hands on his crotch.

By giving it a different name that what it really is, are we teaching our kid there is shame involved in having a sexual organ? If you address it as matter-of-fact rather than "shielding" them with dumbed down words are we adding to the shame based culture that hides sex behind closed doors?

My Mom called my vagina my "bum." It got really confusing for me. I didn't know what the difference between the front and the back was at that point, because everyone I knew would fall down on their "bum." Even boys were falling down on their "bums." That just lead to more confusion. Not to mention that hobos are also called bums. It was a really confusing part of my childhood.

It was brought to my attention that we don't call our fingers phalanges, so why would we call a "penis" by it's text book name? However, the other names for a penis are all cringe worthy, and in my honest opinion shame related.

On the other hand, if we don't use those other words, are we creating the 90 year old man of the play group? While all the other boys tee-hee over their "willies" Charlie will be standing there with an odd expression of so what? Is the awkwardness of having a penis a right of passage? Is it part of the developmental process? Should I take that "fun" away from him?

I want to be very open and honest with him. I don't want there to ever be a shame based portion of sex, or his body. I remember growing up and feeling like there was something very wrong with me in that way. I don't want to be the hippie Mom either that is like, "yea! go ahead and use our bed" but I don't want there to be such a stigma attached to sex. With the overwhelming amount of accessibility to pornography, it's become part of our culture. Right or wrong, it's there.

So, here I sit. With the question, "To say penis, or not to say penis?"

That is the question.

Shakespeare just rolled over in his grave.

Except I don't believe Shakespeare is dead, just like Elvis and Tupac.


Due to a recent conversation, I am going to be calling it a "urine evacuation unit." Otherwise known as a UEU, pronounced ewww. Done, and done.