The Jersey Shore and Me

I can't be the only one that secretly watches the Jersey Shore. I am ashamed because I shouldn't watch. I know it's offensive to Italian Americans and wellll just about every American really, but I love it. Minus the  shitty Sam and Ron drama. Those two are pointless. What is it that I love about that show? The muscles? The tans? The hair? The rampant sexual promiscuity? The famous-ugly ratio? Seriously, I know a lot of Italian Americans. Congrats MTV on scouring the earth for THE UGLIEST people ever. Seriously. Italian Americans are usually really hot. What HAPPENED to these people? The Situation always looks like he just sniffed poop. Snooki looks like a really tan Snoopy. Jwoww looks like a b-team stripper, and that new one you know the Momish looking one? Deena yeah Deena, she HAS to be like 73. Vinny is actually kind of cute and normal. So that makes me wonder about him. Pauly's hair seems to be molded out of semen and cake frosting. But I love them.

I am not alone. This show is a phenomenon. This is how I am choosing to "stay hip." I watch MTV reality shows that I know the youth are watching. What scares me is that all the people on that show are pushing 30 (with the exception of Deena the 73 year old). Just like I am somewhat out of touch with the young kids these days, they in turn are out of touch with me. They think that if I was single, I would be out fist pumping into the wee hours of the morning and dodging grenades.

If you don't know what all these things are in reference to, watch the show.

It's like a car wreck you pass on the highway after being caught in traffic for 3 hours. You don't want to look at it, but you wasted 3 hours of your life trapped in your car and DAMNIT there better be an APOCALYPSE going on up ahead. When you finally drive past the scene, you feel like you HAVE to look due to the fact that all you saw was the back end of a Buick for the past 3 hours. That's the Jersey Shore. We are in rerun season. So that is the 3 hours of traffic. MTV is smart enough to start airing their show before the other shows come back on. I HAVE TO WATCH. By that point, I am hooked.

I like these people. I don't know why. I think they are caricatures of themselves, and at some point it morphed and they thought orange was their actual skin color. They do stupid things. They get into a lot of debacles. I can relate.

Ugh.

I just said I can relate to the cast of Jersey Shore.

I will write a real post in a day or two. For now, go watch the Jersey Shore. I'm sure it's on MTV right now, because that's all they have on. That and that stupid teenwolf shit that is quite possibly the worst show ever created. Don't watch that.