24 Ways to Insult Someone Properly

Ok. So here's the deal. Today I am not holding back. I am telling it how it is.

The other day you may have noticed my profile pic on FB change. To that of a sexy man. It's a friend of mine. A few other friends of mine have also put his pic as their profile pic. People's response? "Fag."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Really? That's what you come up with? It's a DUDE STANDING IN FRONT OF A WATERFALL. THAT'S WHAT YOU COME UP WITH?!? Somehow, this is more acceptable than using an actual cuss word. No dice people. No dice.

I am about to punch puppies, kittens, and McDonald's employees in the throat over this. STOP USING THE WORD FAG TO MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE. STOP USING THE WORD RETARD TO DESCRIBE SOMEONE. It's not just that it's hurtful. We have been saying that for a long time. We all know that. It's more at this point angering because of the lack of thought people are willing to put into their insults. I get that these are social norms. Let's stop. Not only because they are hurtful and completely lacking creativity, but because words like "rad" and "not" died out and so should these words. These words have a lot more meaning to them than "sike" and it's time we just stopped. I urge everyone to stop being an ass hat. Don't put someone down at another group's expense.

This is a tired topic, so instead of focusing on the why you should nots, I am going to focus on alternatives. They will be divided into two categories. The non cussing terms and the cussing terms.

Cussing alternatives:

We will start with a basic sentence.

That girl is a complete:

1. ass turkey

2. fucking ball bag

3. shit fest

4. ass-tacular disaster

5. fucking STD

6. dick bag

7. prick scratcher

8. damn douchebag

9. fuck ball

10. ass hat

11. shit sniffer

12. dick biter

Non cussing alternatives:
We will start with a basic sentence.
That guy is a total:
1. private part
2. poop nugget
3. shop teacher with 1 finger
4. wedgie
5. piece of butt lint
6. urinal cake
7. leaking nipple
8. anal gland
9. tampon
10. penis drip
11. vagina puncher
12. tea pot

I have given 24 AWESOME alternatives that do not offend anything but actual butts, balls, and a tea pot. Show your creativity by leaving comments with your own creative insults.

Also, you all are welcome to share this blog with your friends. I kind of want to be a big deal. :)