Prego Hormo

I'm friggin serious about sheets. Not even a little joking. I could easily become a hoarder on sheets alone. The truth of the matter is that you spend a little under half of your life doing one thing. Sleeping. I believe that it should be done in style and with no less than 600 thread count of pure cotton.

I spent like 4 days being pissed off over a set of sheets Chad and I bought. I asked the lady at Macy's if they would get little pills on them. She firmly said no they wouldn't. She told me to keep the reciept and if they got pilly to bring them back. Well, we moved. That receipt is in the void of nothingness. Those sheets are now pilly. $160 sheets. I am so angry. Now, I have to go over the whole stinkin bed with a razor and shave my sheets. Shaving my legs is a chore because of the amount of surface area I must cover. We have a king size bed. I will be done sometime next week, and I will still be angry.

Chad and I stopped in at Marshalls and decided to look at pillow cases while we were there. Pillow cases are something you can never have enough of. If you don't know what to get me sometime....pillow cases and expensive shampoo. That's pretty much an awesome gift. That and maybe some of those Chinese throwing stars.

So, ok. Chad and I were in the aisle with the sheets and there were seriously like 10 choices for pillow cases. This lady comes walking down the aisle and instead of doing the normal thing people do in stores when they want something near where two people are standing, she seriously just slid in front of me. Like something out of the cartoons. Like extended shoe and leg, rest of body glide to meet. Who shoves a pregnant lady out of the way? My hormones are off the chiz-ain lately. I am like the Incredible Hulk of pregnant women. Needless to say I was green. I walked off in a huff... and said "Way to push a helpless pregnant lady out of the way to look at pillow cases. RUDE!"

We went to look at baby clothes next. Lady ends up a row over and I was trying to get back to where Chad was. So, I walked passed her, and totally knocked her giganto purse off her shoulder and watched as it attacked her wrist. She said, "Excuse ME!" I turned around and said, "Yea, whatever." Then did a little bitchy laugh of taunting. If this went down with a fight, who would win when the cops showed up? Pretty sure the pregnant crying lady is a trump card.

Looking back at it, I am totally sitting here like WTF?!? Holy prego hormo!

I'm a little ashamed, and a little proud. The little balls I am carrying around inside of me apparently made their first appearance at Marshalls.