Charles Atticus

We are having a boy.

We really wanted a boy.

You aren't supposed to say that.


I was a TERRIBLE kid thru the teenage angst years. Finding out I wouldn't be having a girl to repay me trifold was like cake wrapped in cookies. When the ultrasound tech wrote the name "Charles" on our ultrasound this is the exact feeling I had:
1. super happy!
2. You know when a cop speeds up behind you with lights flashing and you have that panic feeling of OMG he's catching me ridin' dirrrty! (even though the closest thing to something illegal you have in your car is a candy wrapper) Then, just as your heart begins to really feel like you will have to pull over for the impending heart attack, he just pulls around you and speeds off for some other unlucky bastard. That is how I felt when we were told it's a boy.

Chad and I rushed to the store to buy Charlie some outfits. Deep down I thought we had a boy in there, but with the 12 other pregnant people I know having boys, I assumed luck was running out.

I KNEW it had to be a boy though because penises weird me out. That's why I have girl dogs.

I apparently like baby's in robot clothing. Both outfits we bought have robots on them.

Which is actually quite fitting, because his mom does a MEAN robot dance.

So, I suppose I should familiarize myself with some things.
1. farts
2. bugs
3. dirt
4. boogers
5. broken bones

O
M
G

Speaking of farts....... pregnancy does some wicked things to your body beyond make your belly feel like a piece of stretched out silly putty. Charlie has been kicking around in there and for all intents and purposes I think he is using my intestines like monkey bars. He's put a few kinks in my hose. Last weekend......it.....happened....... I broke wind in bed with Chad still awake. He looked over and assumed one of the dogs made a weird noise. He asked which one did it, and my face wouldn't let me pick a dog. I would have pulled the covers up over my head, but dutch oven-ing yourself is just stupid. So, I fessed up. He didn't shame me. He was like, "Oh, so what! We all fart!" ehem, break wind. I shamed myself enough for both of us. I think I slept all of 3 hours that night out of sheer embarrassment. This happened before we found out we were having a boy. I think it was an omen. Because as we all know, boys=farts.

I have so much more to tell you...but it will have to wait. I don't want this post to be SUPER LONG. So, in the future you will find out about the name Charles Atticus, having children is not a happy time in my extended family, and me getting all prego hormo (that's pregnant hormonal) on some lady in Marshalls.