Saturday, October 9, 2010

Dr. Dick

     This is sort of a catch all for this week. It is just a recap of some things I may have forgotten to mention.

      I wanted to thank all the people that reached out to comfort me, and reassure me that I am not alone in my struggles with depression. It means the world to me to know that we are all in the world together and that we can share the same struggles openly without shame. Thank you. Beyond words.


      Gigi's vet goes by the name of Dr. John. I assumed it was to be cool and hip like high school teachers that say "Just call me Miss Stephanie." Then, we got two prescriptions after Gigi's surgery. The name on the bottle, "Dr. Dick DVM" Shut. Up. Dr. Dick? Really? You stuck with that? Then I started to think about the fact that he is a vet. He works on cats. Think about the slang term for cats. "Paging Dr. Dick to the _____ room." He's a great vet. We are beyond grateful that he helped Gigi. Many thanks to Dr. Dick.

      Speaking of dicks. I got my Olive Garden fix today. It was bittersweet as always. While we were waiting to be seated in the purgatory of the waiting area. A family walked in. There was a husband and wife and two kids. The daughter appeared to be around 13-14. We watched as he smacked his daughter's butt hard, and playfully. Like, foreplay kind of smack. He then looked over at Chad and me like we would think it was funny. No, dude, I don't think that's funny. In fact, I am going to judge you AND give you the dirtiest look I can muster you creepy, incestuous, pedophile. Seriously, what made that d-bag think that was acceptable? EVER.

      Speaking of creepy, I forgot to tell you about the one guy I dated...It's kind of important that I tell you this one because of how amazing it is. So, he was like 26 at the time and I was 18. I didn't see anything wrong with that. At. All. There was my first mistake. I met him at community college. Mistake number two. We started dating. Mistake number three. He was a theater major. Mistake number 4. So, this 26 year old winner still lived at home with his mom and dad. He invited me over to meet them. I was fairly excited to do so because clearly there was something very wrong with me at 18. So, I show up at his house. His parents have 4 labrador sized dogs. They all greet me and his mother is sitting in a lazyboy with her feet propped up. She proceeds to say it's nice to meet me and starts rubbing lotion on her feet. That was weird enough. Then she puts her feet out on the end of the foot rest and calls the dogs over. The dogs start licking her feet clean. She starts making moaning noises and telling me how good it feels and offers me the lotion. Ummmmm. Pass.

      It bothers me that my one friend thinks the way I say "onion" is weird. I apparently put a "g" in there. I'll put a G in your face Aaron.


That is all.

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