Wal-Mart Beef

I must start out the post with a preface. I in no way judge anyone who shops at Wal-Mart. With the economy the way it is, I understand the need to find deals wherever they are located. I myself have shopped at the Mart. In the following paragraphs I am simply stating my experience that has left me scarred.

      There is a 5-10 mile radius around my house that includes 2 Wal-Mart super centers, and a couple of Food Lions. If I go to Food Lion, I still have to go to Wal-Mart to get the stuff that Food Lion didn't have. So, to save a step Chad and I decided to just do all of our shopping at Wal-Mart.

      Big. Mistake.

    Here's my crazy suggestion of the day. Don't buy beef from Wal-Mart. I'm pretty sure it's made out of the same substance that they use to make their fake uggs. I cook a lot. I am pretty good at it and I am also fairly knowledgeable about meats and foods in general. I have been craving an eye roast for a while now, and so I made one yesterday. The whole house smelled amazing. I made Yorkshire pudding, wilted savoy cabbage with onions and bacon, and mashed potatoes to go with this. I cut into the roast and from the get-go I am a little concerned. Eye roast is a tough cut of meat. It is also super dense. When I started slicing it the meat actually had little holes in it like swiss cheese. That was weird enough. Then I tried to eat it.

      It tasted good. That wasn't the problem. The biggest issue I had with it was that it sort of had the same texture as dried out Jello. Eye roast should have the same texture as a really well done steak. It sort of reminded me of silly putty texture. What on earth happened to that cow? I felt bad that things had to end this way for that cow. I know that it ain't a pretty industry and that it's actually quite terrible. But, what exactly did that cow do wrong along the way to be disgraced by Wal-Mart like that? I honestly thought for a moment that it was a meat grown in a lab. I'm still not sure it wasn't.

      It's letter writing time. I won't actually send it because, let's face it, no one at Wal-Mart has a soul.

Dear Wal-Mart,
  I hate even typing your name because the dash throws me off every time. Congrats on your sketchy business tactics that screw your employees out of life necessities. Like health care. I have worked at a Wal-Mart establishment. I am allowed to trash talk you. It was the first job I ever had, and management sucked back in the 90's too. I am fairly certain that "Sam" is code for Satan. What the hell did you do to my beef? It was swiss beef!! If I had to guess you pumped it full of saline to make it appear larger. The holes were the syringe marks. When it comes to things like food, size doesn't matter. Eating something that doesn't feel like chewing gum does. I also bought some "Sam's Choice" chicken breasts that cooked down to the size of a chicken wing. What exactly is Sam choosing? The worst of any product he can find?

  I am back to hating your store. You are pretty much the most evil establishment I can think of.

Sincerely,
Liz and the Eye Roast Cow