Food, Bed, And So and So's Vagina

Food I've eaten today:
A wal-mart donut

Ok I totally just lied....I had 2 donuts. The WHOLE TIME I was eating the second one I felt sick.

Macaroni and Cheese made from scratch...I am pretty sure it's what they give you when someone dies to cushion the blow. It is amazingly good. I wish I didn't know what was in it.

I also had a salad for dinner. Mostly because I thought consuming 125% of my daily intake of saturated fat at lunch might have been a bit of overkill.

Now, I am sitting here eating applesauce right out of the jar. Why? Because I can. Past the 8 month mark I have decided everyone can suck it. I will say what I want, and sleep on my death bed.

That bed....It's like being hugged all night by George Michaels and Ryan Gosling, and we were all eating donuts. I may have been high for 11 hours or, that's just how long I slept on that bed naturally. I contemplated writing this entire post with misspelled words and terrible grammatical errors (worse than normal).

At 8 months, you get huge. The only thing left to do is succumb to the reality that is...you can't really do much. So, food becomes a little bit more awesome. It's all I've got.

I was talking to a friend today and remembered breaking the news to my Mom I didn't want her in the room while I was giving birth. She took it kind of hard.

Truth is...I don't really like being in the same room with her for too long with clothing covering my vagina. It's safe to say that when it's uncovered I doubly don't want her in the same room. Especially after she told me this story about how the Grandma was watching the kid and the kid was in the bathroom with the Grandma while she was going, and said why do you have hair there Grandma? Then, she says to me, that means So and So doesn't have hair down there! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!? HOW WEIRD AND GROSS!

Ugh.

Why is this shareable information?

Now not only do I know that So and So doesn't have hair "down there." I also know the Grandma freely pees in front of her Grandson.

What if I didn't live up to her expectations of what it should be?

DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE HAS DONE TO ME?!?

I'm going to bed. Yea it's 7:40. George and Ryan have been calling me since 2.