I haven't had too many cravings.
Pickles for like a week.
For like 2 months it was "the perfect donut." Been there, done that.
Then it was purple popsicles and garlic bread....mixed together.
Now, all I want is a fucking Shamrock shake and the douches at McDonald's act like they have never heard of them. Ever since someone on FB posted they had their first one of the year it has been implanted in my brain as a MUST HAVE. I have been to 4 freakin McDonald's today. When I ask if they have this shake, they ask me 2-3 times to repeat it like I am speaking some other language. Lady, you work at McDonald's...Shamrock Shakes have been around since like 1982. I am not saying, "I have a potato chip in my butt crack."
Pregnancy cravings aren't like normal..."Ohhhh I could go for some Indian food!" They are life ending. Life. Ending. All I can think about is the minty deliciousness that is the Shamrock Shake. I will not rest until I have it. Unfortunately between being in the south, and it still being February I think I have to wait another week. Sure, I could eat an altoid and sip on a vanilla shake, BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME.
On a semi-related note...I took Chem 2 my senior year of high school as I have already mentioned. In that class I learned why McDonald's milkshakes never melt. You know the stuff in baby diapers that absorbs the pee? It makes a gel. It is actually a form of silicone. It's the same thing in the milkshakes. Mmmmmmm plastic milkshake.
I don't even care. But McDonald's sure knows how to piss off a pregnant lady.
4 McDonald's in one day.
1 McDonald's had the mix, but their milkshake machine was broken.
I thought about asking for the mix to transport to another McDonald's but felt they would just stare at me even more blankly than before.
I want to punch people in the ears.
I had flashbacks to the mini beanie baby craze at McDonald's that monopolized my Saturday mornings in the '90s because my Mom was obsessed with both cheeseburger happy meals and beanie babies. Seriously, I ate cheeseburgers for like 8 months. We would go to 4 or 5 different McDonald's looking for those stupid things. Then, 8 years later go home for a visit and find 30 of them stuffed in a drawer.
McDonald's is a life ruiner.
All I want is a fucking Shamrock Shake.
Sorry about the potty mouth, but it's really hard to think straight when all I can think of is that stupid life ruining minty shake.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO I remember those! When you finally get one, have another for me! :)
ReplyDeleteHaaaa! I'm not making light of your plight, which I can relate to all too well (for me it was a cream stick, which DON'T EXIST SOUTH OF COLUMBUS), but this was just hilarious. Especially the image of you finding all those beanies stuffed in a drawer and ruminating about all the cheeseburgers you were forced to eat as a child. Ha!
ReplyDeleteOnce, when I was in eighth grade, my dad drove me through McDonald's and dropped me off at home to eat. I bit into my cheeseburger and found that it had everything except the burger on it. Epic McDonalds fail.
Hahahah! Maura actually has a few of those beanie babies. BoBo the monkey, and Ssssnake! So thanks for taking those cheeseburgers down for Maura's enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteI want another belly pic! AND loved hearing the post about you and your mom laughing together ;)
She actually tried to GIVE me some of those Beanies at one point while I was student teaching. OH NO YOU DON'T MOM! She made it seem like they actually had some value. No, you keep your stupid Beanie Babies in their coffin drawer.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is...when Charlie gets older...I just KNOW those nightmares from my teen years will make their way back to me. I will be forced to wipe my tears away with a teenie beanie.