I could go on and on about how the Army hates me specifically, but I won't. I will mention yet again that I hate the Army because (without getting too detailed) basically slowly over the course of several months gave us $2,000 that we assumed was ours. Then, they said no. Due to another dirt bag you have to give that money back that we already approved you to have. This was due to the finance department. They were all like "oops." Oops we need that back, because we have the mathematical skills of a turkey sandwich. Oh, btw, unless you otherwise specify you are going to have to give that back all at once.
We don't make much money. $2,000 is a lot to us. With that, I told Chad not to get my a Mother's day gift, or a birthday gift.
With my 30th birthday fast approaching, I thought I would give everyone else a few ideas on what to get for me.
The ACTUAL Zach Morris cell phone.
Half of a Snickers bar and a few swigs of Mountain Dew.
Pictures of everyone I know doing the robot.
Laser hair removal...on me...not you. I don't care if you have lip hair.
Hair that I didn't do myself.
OR.................................
All of my favorite people in the world in one place...You know all my college friends, a select number of high school people, all my friends from the Army, and my family...IN ONE PLACE.
I would like to be in attendance at that place too.
Please.
Ju-liz 22.
Make it happen everyone.
My party favor will be "awkward hugs."
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