Randoms

I have a basket of laundry I keep folding half of and then throwing the rest of it on top, because I run out of time. It is driving me insane. What do I do instead of folding it? Write about it on here.

I left the back screened in porch door open, with the light on last evening. I now have what can only be described as Bonnaroo for flies.

I have a freak out every 2 weeks or so over milk production. Its pretty wicked. He will deplete all the milk stores in the freezer and then go back to nothing. But when he depletes that milk store I have small panic attacks over my failure to feed him.

I love and hate weekends. I feel like on Monday, and Tuesday, I am fumbling over trying to "relearn" my baby. It's so weird. It's the same when we go anywhere, or people come to visit. I feel like I lose the ability to know his cues as well. It drives me insane.

I cry every time I have to go thru his drawers and remove the clothing that is too small. It's so sad that I feel like he is already "slipping away" from me.

I have a new found love for my mother now that I have a baby. Not so much for all her weirdness (that I now think are super funny) but for how much I know she loves me. It's weird how having a child can connect you more with another part of yourself that you had long since forgotten.

Charlie rolled over from his stomach to back twice yesterday. He goes in cycles for his sleep. Last week he slept all day and night for a few days, then he was up all day yesterday. Today, I think he will be sleepy baby again. I like sleepy days. I get stuff done, and when he's up he's super super cuddly and fun. He's not trying to claw my face off because he can't figure out how to turn the milk machine on.

I have a Grandma with advanced Alzheimer's. I can't make up my mind about visiting her, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Should I remember her the way she was, or go visit her in her nursing home? I would like her to meet Charlie, but he won't remember it, neither will she, and my heart will be heavy in the process. I am really on the fence on this one. Input would be appreciated.