Velvety Smooth

When we first arrived to the recovery room, I needed to change my bandages. They give you mesh shorts to use. I got into the bathroom to find that the pair they had in there had HAIR already in them. Thank you, but no thank you. Then, I look at the toilet to find dribbles of blood on it. I was so exhausted but I made a complaint. They rolled their eyes. When we were notified that we were getting roommates I notified the staff that the bathroom should be cleaned. THEY LAUGHED AT ME. Apparently the bathrooms at Womack Army Medical in the recovering rooms are NEVER cleaned. Good thing I didn't have any gaping wounds or anything. When they told us they were keeping us for another day, I seriously thought I was going to FREAK OUT. So, when you have a baby bring clorox wipes because they clearly don't care about disease.

I left the decision of circumcision up to Chad. I don't have that apparatus so, it didn't make sense for me to be the one to make the call. Don't get me wrong, I did weigh in with my opinion on the matter. They wait a day or two before they actually do the procedure. By that point the room we were staying in had another couple in it. They arrived in the wee hours of the morning, and left the lights on when they arrived. They put all their curtains all the way around their bed, and I couldn't tell you what either one of those douche bags look like. What I do know is that she kept asking for more percoset, and having her weenie of a husband wake up to deal with the baby EVERY TIME. They also felt that waiting until the poor thing was hysterical was a better option that listening for hunger cues.

So there was the "uber privacy better than us couple" and us in one room. We had tons of visitors coming and going throughout the first day that the douche couple was in there. The most memorable visit of the day goes to....Our friends Jason and Annette aaaand my Mom. Jason and Annette were in visiting, and then my Mom arrived. The way the room was set up there were 2 chairs on either side. Jason and Annette were sitting in the two on our side. Jason got up for my Mom, and my Mom instead took the chair located on private douche side. We had to convice her that lurking on the other side of the room wasn't appropriate.

We bring up circumcision with Jason and Annette to have them weigh in with their opinions. At which point, my Mom pipes up. Mind you there are six people in the room, 2 of which we don't know. We discuss how people in Europe don't have the procedure done. She says, that she has talked to someone in the family about it and starts to talk from their point of view. She then rubs her thumb on her first finger in a circle and says, "It's just so velvety smooth. I would miss his foreskin. It's like a soft feather. You just want to touch it all day."

Wow.

Jason and Annette both have a look on their face that says, "I can't believe how awesome this is right now."

We keep the convo rolling, and discuss the medical reasoning behind it and so forth. The conversation ends with......."the little english boy's foreskin floats in the tub."

There you have it, velvety smooth, and floats in the tub.

I kinda want one.