To Become Healthy

We went out of town for a couple of days due to a death in the family. It really brought things home a bit more in my eyes. I tried not to think about it while we were in attendance, but once the funeral started it was futile. I cried. For the loss of life, love, and friendship. I cried because it makes things all too clear. At some point, either I or the love of my life will cease to exist. One of us will be left to pick up and move on. Others will look to us to see how it will be when their time comes. It made me shake. To think, of leaving my child behind. To leave Charlie to fend off this world without me. That is the circle of life, and it is tragic and beautiful all at once. This person's time was ending, and at the same time, we were introducing a life to the world. Such a double edged sword. 

During the whole process, I watched as Charlie was passed from person to person. My rational side though how much I liked seeing people coo over him. I loved seeing Chad's Mom beaming at the new life we created. I liked knowing I could provide some form of comfort in such a terrible time. Then, there was the crazy irrational part of me. I was JEALOUS of other people. Other's that were getting smiles out of him, holding him, and spending time with him. I was in this constant battle. It must be something programmed in along the way, but I just couldn't stop thinking about it. There were a lot of things I was thinking about.

How fast time has gone by. I am a mother now. A huge milestone has passed by. It's almost like things hit home a bit more at the benchmark of 30, and having a first born. This isn't depression talking, it's reality setting in. I love my life more than I can put into words. I hate the idea of it ever ending. 

With that, I would like to write something in stone so to speak. I have never knowingly ran a mile. I may have while playing soccer, but running a mile seems impossible.

Recently, Chad obtained an injury that made him have to stop his normal workout routine. He must now ease back into running starting with 2 mile walks every other day for 2 weeks. That seems about my speed. So, this is the time. THIS IS MY TIME.

I am making a vow to health.

To be here as long as I can.

To write about this journey.

To make my health a priority.

To run 1 mile. 

Straight.

While to most that is not a big deal, to me it is. I want this to be the first step of my own milestones. When one mile turns into two. When running becomes enjoyable....if that ever happens. 

Sunday marked day one in our regimen.