Suck It Neighbor

Ever fold your laundry, and in the middle of folding you think it smells dirty? Then you realize that it's you, because you have a screaming 3 month old that won't let you accomplish simple tasks like sleeping, or showering?

No?

Just me?

I can't let him cry. This child is going to break me.

If you are going to have a reality show, MAYBE you should put away your stolen 30 million dollar artwork. Ryan O'neal.

So, I am going to tell you a short story about this lady I know.
This lady I know, has a real dirt bag of a neighbor. She called to complain about the amount of poop in his back yard. The fact that his dog doesn't get taken care of properly, and tries to run away once a week. Did I mention that they haven't mowed their backyard in over a year? I mean, did she mention that?

A REALLY huge scary guy came to her door. She did what anyone who peered out the side window and saw 250 lbs of muscle in gym shorts at her door. She went into the upstair bedroom, and sat there for 20 minutes hoping he wasn't going to break in. He went away and started going to other houses.

She decided to go get the mail about an hour later. The guy was still wandering around, and started walking towards her like a T-rex. She froze. He points at her and gives her the 1 minute sign. He then proceeds to tell her he found a dog wandering the streets while he was running. That the dog started running with him. He wanted to know where the dog originated and if i knew who's dog it was. He was on his way to go buy food for the dog. I said yes, I did know who's dog it was. Ahem I mean she said yes. She then proceeded to explain the dogs miserable exsistence. She tripledog dared him to go look in their back yard. Which he did. She then said, "I think you should just keep it."

It's been one month with no dog in that backyard.

Suck it neighbor.

I hope that it has a better life than living under a deck year round surrounded by feces.