The fact is, we all judge. It's fun. You don't need any one specific set of criteria to do it. Just a high and mighty feeling that you are somehow either above said action, or better than said action. I am an outspoken gal, and I live life the way I choose to. It's pretty awesome. I don't for one minute expect others to do things the way I do. I do however have an undying need for people to like me and accept me. It's part of my very core. I NEED to be liked. It's why I developed my awesome sense of humor. I have worked extra hard over the years to cultivate my cooking skills and my humor to allow for more likeability. The weird thing is, I want you to like me, but only for about 5-6 hours. Then, you go home. I'm off duty.
Creating this blog has helped me to grasp one major area that I will struggle with unless I tackle it at this very moment. People judging me. I must take a firm stand on not giving a crap. I think it's fairly clear that I have been doing pretty well with that idea so far. We are all in this huge place together. We are here to learn from each other. We are not here to tear each other down, yet somehow if I am different than someone else, I am judged. I am so used to being different. I don't think like other people, and I am proud of it. I don't act like other people, and at times it can be a bit much, most people think it's pretty awesome. When we start acting out of our own needs and wants and less out of a self righteous "selfless" place , we are more in touch with reality. Our own reality, and our own happiness. The less I try to please everyone else's perceptions of what I should be, the happier I become.
The closer I get to motherhood, I realize that one thing will only get worse. Judgement. The advice will pour out of people. It will always be the people that either don't have kids yet, or have kids that well, let's be honest, suck. People will judge me for the way I let my kids dress. They will judge me for yelling at them when they are bad. They will judge me for allowing my children to breast feed until they are 8. (that's totally a joke) Judgements will come from all angles. It is my responsibility to shut it down.
So, I say go ahead. Judge me.
Judge me for having kids in the first place.
Judge me for not being as financially stable as we could be.
Judge me for not being a conventional mother.
Judge me for taking antidepressants.
Judge me for being so open.
Judge me for over sharing.
Judge me for staying at home.
Judge me for being who I am.
Judge me for loving with my eyes closed.
Judge me for believing we should all help each other.
Judge me for not believing the way that you do.
Judge me for having tolerance.
Judge me for having a voice.
In this life, you can choose to help people, by making them smile. Helping them to realize they aren't alone. That their struggles are similar, and you can find ways to make it thru. Or, you can choose to sit in an ivory tower and judge.
Which are you?
Preach it Obama!
ReplyDeleteOK, this is part of why I feel like I GET you. I want to be my own endearingly eccentric self yet be loved, too. I've done pretty well over the years about learning not to care if people judge me, but it got a whole lot harder over parenting stuff. It just gets SO TIRING to hear constantly, from friends as well as strangers, that you are doing things wrong. And it doesn't make me change my mind about how we do things--just makes me want to do the counter-cultural thing even harder. You know, the adult version of sticking my tongue out and saying "neener, neener, neener."
ReplyDelete